The sound keep repeated in head. Crash BOOM BANG Crash BOOM BANG.. it gets louder each time my heartbeat takes a beat. What is happening to me? my head is spinning, my breaths are short, panic, fear, pain and anger all sets in. I couldnt handle of of them at once. My hands shiver as my eyes saw those words in disbelief. Someone burst the bubble i was in and force me to wake up from this sweet dreams i am in. Is it a dream or a fantasy i created? Back to life, back to reality when i fealt my warm tears flowing down my face. the saltiness in it fealt like blood draining from my body.
I start to question myself, why do i allow a man to define who i am and what to react. How can i be so weak? How did i get here to the nubmness? Could i have seen this coming? Can i get out of the vaccum that keeps pulling me in? Argghhhhhhhh Am i insane??
Silence............... Silence!! I need silence! Need to get this sounds out of my head...
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
The right to be wrong
In a relationship, any sort of kind, there is no worng or right in it.
Fight for what it's urs and what u believe in. Fight for each other.
Fight for what it's urs and what u believe in. Fight for each other.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
A man is only as good as whom he loves.
I heard about this saying long time ago. I am lucky indeed to have the experience of this saying coming true today....
I have always known we can never be frends.. but yet i am told that this is the ugly side of me. Hey, i have no problem being frens with anyone, but it takes too my love. How can i be frens when all i sense from her is a bunch of bitterness, hatred and fakeness.
This week, we can see the real person, and the one man that loves her and choose her, it only reflect your character.
I use to sympathize and felt that this is how my Karma is getting back to me.. Now i feel that its not entirely true.
My prayers every nite is for him to realize this and find someone who deserve him. Ppl improve together as a couple, not become worst as a couple. It is an entire lifetime to be with this person, so choose wisely!
I have always known we can never be frends.. but yet i am told that this is the ugly side of me. Hey, i have no problem being frens with anyone, but it takes too my love. How can i be frens when all i sense from her is a bunch of bitterness, hatred and fakeness.
This week, we can see the real person, and the one man that loves her and choose her, it only reflect your character.
I use to sympathize and felt that this is how my Karma is getting back to me.. Now i feel that its not entirely true.
My prayers every nite is for him to realize this and find someone who deserve him. Ppl improve together as a couple, not become worst as a couple. It is an entire lifetime to be with this person, so choose wisely!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Hard Rock Hotel, Penang
Last weekend 11/14/2009 was a weekend all 5 of us were looking forward too.. A weekend away, no man allowed, just 5 of us again reliving our younger and wilder phase again. As usual, our event planner, Senget, did a amazing job, making all the reservation, following up and making sure we are all gonna have fun. Not sure what we would have done without her *wink* (credits to her)
As we arrive on the island, me and Pungcock (we are late as usual) meet up wt the other gals in coffee shop in front of the Pulau Tikus Police Station to have our breakfast. Then we went to 7-11 to get some supplies, water, drinks, mixers, cookies etc etc. As we were paying, the guy behind the cashier tot we were tourist from SG,I couldnt help but walk away and bursted laughing.
We drove to HRH and went around the facility to check out the place and snap a couple of pics, Buntal even had one while she jumped and hug the pole.. haha cute.
We check in.. room was awesome with an amazing view. We changed and headed to the swimming pool. We had smoothies and pizza by Shacks (poolside bar).. Thin Crust Masala Chicken was good.
Later the evening, we dine at the HRC, to celebrate Hen's nite for Pungcock. She's gonna be someone's missus in Dec. We ordered our food and drinks, but all 4 of us, except Senget was so nervous we can hardly touch our food as we are all in this supper big surprise for her. Finally Uncle B walk in and when Senget saw him, all she can say is " What are u doing here? The gals are gonna kill u? hehehehe" Well he got down on his worn out knees and pop the question to her with a beautiful diamond ring. It brought tears to my eyes...when she say yes.
Later the nite, Pungcock, Buntal and Senget, went to bed, leaving me and Comot still trying to get drunk... LOL. Hook up wt 2 Gentleman and we resume to the beach once the band ended. The irony part is the guy's name is the same as my x. How weird is that? They were sweet and nice to have conversation with.
Comot and Me when to bed at 5am and woke up with a bang on our heads (we were drinking since 2pm on sat). Check out and i was feeling like zombie the rest of the day. All and all, we have a great time all 5 of us, enjoying each other's company, capturing important momments in each other's life. So 2 down, 3 to go. Hopefully soon we will all find the one guy for each.
Cheersssss
As we arrive on the island, me and Pungcock (we are late as usual) meet up wt the other gals in coffee shop in front of the Pulau Tikus Police Station to have our breakfast. Then we went to 7-11 to get some supplies, water, drinks, mixers, cookies etc etc. As we were paying, the guy behind the cashier tot we were tourist from SG,I couldnt help but walk away and bursted laughing.
We drove to HRH and went around the facility to check out the place and snap a couple of pics, Buntal even had one while she jumped and hug the pole.. haha cute.
We check in.. room was awesome with an amazing view. We changed and headed to the swimming pool. We had smoothies and pizza by Shacks (poolside bar).. Thin Crust Masala Chicken was good.
Later the evening, we dine at the HRC, to celebrate Hen's nite for Pungcock. She's gonna be someone's missus in Dec. We ordered our food and drinks, but all 4 of us, except Senget was so nervous we can hardly touch our food as we are all in this supper big surprise for her. Finally Uncle B walk in and when Senget saw him, all she can say is " What are u doing here? The gals are gonna kill u? hehehehe" Well he got down on his worn out knees and pop the question to her with a beautiful diamond ring. It brought tears to my eyes...when she say yes.
Later the nite, Pungcock, Buntal and Senget, went to bed, leaving me and Comot still trying to get drunk... LOL. Hook up wt 2 Gentleman and we resume to the beach once the band ended. The irony part is the guy's name is the same as my x. How weird is that? They were sweet and nice to have conversation with.
Comot and Me when to bed at 5am and woke up with a bang on our heads (we were drinking since 2pm on sat). Check out and i was feeling like zombie the rest of the day. All and all, we have a great time all 5 of us, enjoying each other's company, capturing important momments in each other's life. So 2 down, 3 to go. Hopefully soon we will all find the one guy for each.
Cheersssss
Trust No One
Note to myself :- Trust no one, no one. U deserve better and start trusting ur own instict. Love is delutional and it will bring u hope than can be unreal. DO NOT hide under his shadow anymore. Free yourself, free yourself.
Blank
its been almost two months now and yet all i feel is blankness and numbness.. I am mad, angry and disguisted, on how i managed this episod in my life. I am upset and mad. This is not me. I use to be carefree and cant be bothered with ppl's opinion. So what happen? All this happen when 2nd time around i fail in Romance Dept. The worst part is they are of the same epic. How odd is that? How can u be the main actress on 2 same movie even though the main actor may change.
I m gonna seal everthing in a pandora box, all my hopes, myself and everything into it. Close and seal until the next real one comes along.
When u are down to the lowest stage, only then u see who ur true friends are. Sad but true.
I had to learn my lesson the hard way, trust no one but me, rely on no one but me and all about me.
I m gonna seal everthing in a pandora box, all my hopes, myself and everything into it. Close and seal until the next real one comes along.
When u are down to the lowest stage, only then u see who ur true friends are. Sad but true.
I had to learn my lesson the hard way, trust no one but me, rely on no one but me and all about me.
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