if u dont know me by now

this song was made famous by Simple Red. The meaning is so deep and intense.

So if u dunno me by now, u will never never know me. No u wont. Everyday, day in day out, people sees us, hears us, thinks about us, critic about us and so forth. But to that one person that thinks the world of u, knows u inside out how u are feeling and what makes u do the thing u do. No judgement needed, no question required. It is hard.

All my life, i have been independent and do not need to rely on others. My security and comfort zone is within my control. I built walls around me so i wont get hurt and expose my vulnerability. Many have tried and failed, some have suceeded and made it worst beyond repair.

I used to drink a lot in my younger days, after the nite is over, when my friends crash, boom , bang allowing booze to run their body, i would still be sober. I will be alert and block the influence of alcohol to win me over, eventually made me stop drinking.

But i am scared, so scared that the walls are getting taller and thicker, i fear, if i get built inside this wall and trap within the walls and never see the daylight again....